…and as expected, i kinda love to hate it — or, should i say “hate to love it”?
It’s a few minutes before 2020 come to end (well. in GMT+7 area) and still, most of us living in uncertainty from multiple dimensions. Yes, including myself.
As we know, 2020 was a pure roller-coaster for most of us, including me. 2020 also changed A LOT of perspectives that I’ve been holding on to for the entirety of my 23 years living as a human being. They are:
- It’s okay to embrace your worst as long as it’s not harming yourself or anyone around you. I think it’s funny how society teaches us to always looks and act positively even when we’re on our worst side. Why we are not allowed to honest with how we feel?
- Life nowadays full of unexpected things where everything comes in a huge package that needs to be sorted in a short span of time — this is what we call a ‘fast-paced’ world, isn’t it? And honestly, of course, it maddened and broken me down into pieces in a way that I couldn’t even explain clearly.
But from here, I realized that it’s very important to always look after your own self before anything else because not gonna lie, the effect when you force yourself to sort everything else out before taking care of yourself is quite…. harmful (Speaking from personal experience) - No. I never ever want to label any years anymore (i mean, like how I was labeled ‘2020 will be the XX year of me’). The more you label it, the more of your freedom could be eaten by the label that you’ve made by yourself. I would love to take every single day, hour, minute, or even second as it is.
- Stop begging for people, things, or even circumstances to be better — or at least change in a way you desired. It only leaves a HUGE wound in the end. The only 2 things that you can control are your reaction and your decision towards it. Also, speaking of “begging for certain people”, trust me, the right person will make everything feel good as it should be without any doubt, even so, they won’t ever make you need to beg for them to stay.
- I just realized an important lesson (that sounds cliche but hit me hard after looking back to the kaleidoscope of 2020) — I need to fall in love again with myself, every time, every day, every week, every month, and for the entire of my life. I need to be more mindful with everything that I consume on a daily basis, even if it needs me “disengage to engage”, I’ll do so! I came to a unanimous decision that I only have “me” in the end.
- Lastly, 2020 teaches me a lot until concluding that “I, myself” can be “my own person”, too. And I should be “my own person” for myself before being available for everyone else.
So, do I still have hope for 2021? Although I won’t be optimistically labeling 2021 (as I pointed above), I still have one hope for my 2021:
I hope, i can celebrate every single day with something that could make me feels like “at home” again — cheesy enough, huh?
No, I won’t give any cheesy line anymore for this New Year Greetings, I just sincerely hope all of us can become stronger and wiser to face whatever we have to face in the future. Hasta La Vista 2020 & Hola 2021!
